friend [frend]
- noun
- a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard
- a person who gives assistance; patron; supporter
- a person who is on good terms with another; a person who is not hostile
- a member of he same nation, party, etc.
- a member of the Religious Society of Friends; a Quaker
- a person associated with another as a contact on a social-networking website
Why did I start this entry with the
Dictionary.com definition of friend? Because I needed you to see what has
happened to the word, the concept, the essential meaning of being a friend.
Notice how the term goes from being one of attachment, affection, and personal
regard to just being associated by social-network.
Let's just clear up this misnomer
right off the bat. Just because Facebook chose the term friend as a connection
point for those who are in your network, that does not by any means make those
100+ people your friends. You are lucky (no wait, let me change that)
blessed if you have more than 5 real friends in your lifetime. So to
think that those hundreds of people that you are sharing your pictures,
opinions, thoughts, and life with actually give a rats ass about you... come on
now. Really? Really?!?! Most of them are
only following you because they want to up their "friend" count.
Because we all know that having so many friends on Facebook makes you more
significant, right? Umm, no. It actually doesn't. Sorry to break that bit of
news to you.
Some are only your friend to make
themselves feel better. If they see you struggling and not having the easiest
of times, it makes their not so great situation seem not so bad. (Whew, I
may be a hot mess, but look at so-and-so. Glad I'm not them.) How very
friendly that is. Can you feel the love. Yeah, me neither. *shrug* [FB note: Take the time to put your friends in
categories/lists. Also, separate the weeds from the wheat, Friends vs.
acquaintances. Post your pics and status updates accordingly.]
Then there are the stalkers. They consist of the following:
- exes
- side-jawns
- fellow church members
- co-workers
- family members who want something to use against you at the next family gathering
These are the most insidious friends
of all. Why? Because these are people you wouldn't think would be so
untrustworthy (other than the exes of course) but they are the
biggest threat. [FB note: Don't be stupid. When you
break up with someone, delete them from your friends list and block them
immediately!] These people will take the smallest thing and turn it
into the biggest ball of mess. Case in point, they tag you in a picture or a
post at a gathering where other people you know weren't invited to come along
or attend. Enter the drama, stage left. First off, not every event and
everything is for everybody. If they weren't invited there must have been a
reason. That being said, stay above the fray. Real friends will understand
that. Real friends really don't get hurt feelings over stupid crap like that.
Real friends also don't find the need to rub it in someone's face that they
were invited. That's petty and stupid. [FB
Note: Do not let other people tag you in photos and posts without your
permission. Why invite trouble]
Now I will admit, I am not the best
friend, be it in real life or on social media.
In real life, some time ago, I can't
exactly pinpoint when it happened, I phased out quite a few people from my
life. There were just too many hangers-on. The relationships were dying anyway
so I just pulled the plug and backed away. Don't get me wrong, if one of those
people really needed me I would be there in a flash and I continue to pray for
them nonetheless. The attachment was gone, not exactly the feelings or
personal regard. However, like all things in life, the relationships had
reached their expiration date. No big falling out or anything it just
fizzled.
My FB
friend count is at 132. That to me is way too many, but of that 132, I can only
see the post of about 10 people on my timeline. I just don't have the time or
the energy to weed through all of the foolishness. Everyone has been placed on
a list and I check those lists every couple of days. My page and posts are
locked down. My coworkers, church members, and most of my family can not see
what I post unless I post to all. Why? Because people are just too dramatic.
Assuming everything is about them. Ugh! Please get over yourself.
I guess as I've gotten older I've
come to realize that at the end of my journey on this planet I want to be
remembered as having touched someone's life. Those who remember me fondly,
those people were my friends.
(originally written in 2014)
