There are 3 days on the calendar that I do not understand and find completely ridiculous:
Mother's Day
Father's Day
Valentine's Day*
Why? Well let’s start will a biblical reference which, as Jesus Follower, is my instruction manual.
“Honor your father and mother. Then you will live a long, full life in the land the LORD your God is giving you” Exodus 20:12 (NLT)
Notice that the verse does not say ‘honor your mother on the 2nd Sunday in May and your father on the 3rd Sunday in June by buying cards and gifts and sucking up to them especially when you can’t be bothered to call them during the week or acknowledge their presence any other time of the year.’
Let’s be real. If you can't and don't let those special people in your life know that you love and/or give a rats furry hind-parts about them the rest of the year, then your one day of homage rings hollow.It's also needlessly afflictive to those who have lost loved ones or did not have a mother or father growing up.
I was blessed to have both parents in the house until I was 13 when they divorced (thank GOD!). My relationship with my parents was not always the best. Strained is the best way to put it. But no matter how I felt about them, I honored them. All day, every day.
Later in life, my relationship with my Dad was way better than it was when I was a kid. I talked to him every Wednesday. Loved hanging out with him down at the garage. I’m basically a Daddy’s Girl and not ashamed to say it. When he passed away, it broke. I still miss him terribly, but I have no regrets. I honored him all year long and he knew it. HE didn’t expect cards and what not, but I gave him stuff because I knew he liked jazz, loved Jesus, and loved a good meal.
My mother and I… weeellll? It’s still tenuous at best. Yet and still, I’m here, doing the job of a filial daughter. It’s all part of the whole “honor” thing. When I moved out, I only moved a block away, just in case. I used more PTO taking her to doctor’s appointments and sitting in hospitals than I did for actual rest and relaxation. To this day I still call every Wednesday, try to stop through on Thursday, and take her to her church every Sunday. That is the honor. And when her time to leave this world comes, I will have no regrets.
I said all of that to say this. I do it all year long, every single day. Is it easy? Heck no. Is it the right thing to do? Yes. I answer to God. Not Hallmark. Not society. The commercialization of Mother’s Day was not even what Anna Jarvis intended. Don’t even get me started on Father’s Day, which gets hi-jacked by single mothers these days. (Side note: You are not mother and father to your kid. Just stop it. Unless you have a penis, you are not a father.) Let’s just stop all of this foolishness and do right by our parents every day.
Parents, stop with the guilt trips over that one day on the calendar. If your kid doesn’t call you often or show you that they love you, how about you work on that? Your child did not ask to be born. You did the horizontal mambo and produced a person. Or if you adopted a child, and thank God for people like you, that person is your trophy and every gift you deserve for a lifetime. Your relationship with your child is your gift.
Look, I realize that my viewpoint is not a popular one and I will probably get all kinds of flack about it. Fine by me. This is my truth and I am sticking to it. You do you. I’ll try not to give you the side-eye. Try.
*As for Valentine’s Day, I’ll address that next February. Ugh!
