Here's what you're NOT going to do...

Woo wee! These are some troubling times, hunh?

Seems like a wide swath of the melanin-deficient population is straight wildin' out. They are acting like their boy Clot 45* and his band of morons and misfits have given license to crawl out from under their sheets and act a whole fool.
They think it's OK to say racist crap and attack people of color with reckless abandon. What they don't seem to realize is that this is not 1957. Times have changed in the real world. And while the Alabama legislature still believes that the South will rise again, most of the rest of the country has moved on.

So to help those of the slower intellect understand how things are going to work, I've created a handy guide for them to survive in this new age. They are the ones who need to get on board because we are moving forward so buckle up buttercup. I present to you racist-redneck-wanna-be-supremacist survival guide -

Here's What You're NOT Going To Do!:

• Verbally attack any person of color who is just minding their business and living their life. 
• Physically attack any person of color who is just minding their business and living their life.
• Disrespect any person of color who is just minding their business and living their life.
• Infringe on the rights of any person of color who is just minding their business and living their life.
• Attempt to intimidate any person of color who is just minding their business and living their life.

By now you should see the pattern. If not, you are clearly a lot dumber than is humanly acceptable.

Here's the deal. You leave us alone we'll leave you alone. Most of us don't really want to be bothered with your issues and so-called "better" way of life anyway. Truth be told, you all would be pretty lost if it wasn't for the people of color, and more specifically those of the African diaspora, who built this country. Yes, I said it. WE BUILT IT BY FORCE after YOU STOLE IT BY FORCE! No, I don't take that back and mean every word I said. We are not letting you forget it from here on out. 

And another thing you're NOT going to do - erase the legacy and legitimate Presidency of Barak Obama. He's Black, he was the President, and folks loved him. Did he get it right 100% of the time? No. But he didn't completely F-up the country in less that 6 months. We went from highly respected to the world's laughing stock in less than a year. What the entire 7th sub-basement of hell?!?!? 

That reminds me of another thing you are NOT going to do - make the citizens of these yet to be united states refugees. You think we don't see what you are up to. Trying to cut us off from our allies and the rest of the free world. Not on our watch. You're knuckle-dragging supporters keep telling us "go back to..." wherever. How about this, you go first. We'll turn off the lights, lock up, and set the alarm after you're gone (and change the locks).

Moral of the story, here's what you are NOT going to do.

You are NOT going make us live in fear no matter how hard you try. 

*not a misspelling, I mean CLOT 45. He is a blood clot. 

The Fallacy of Fake Holidays

There are 3 days on the calendar that I do not understand and find completely ridiculous:

Mother's Day

Father's Day

Valentine's Day*

Why? Well let’s start will a biblical reference which, as Jesus Follower, is my instruction manual.

“Honor your father and mother. Then you will live a long, full life in the land the LORD your God is giving you” Exodus 20:12 (NLT)

Notice that the verse does not say ‘honor your mother on the  2nd Sunday in May and your father on the 3rd Sunday in June by buying cards and gifts and sucking up to them especially when you can’t be bothered to call them during the week or acknowledge their presence any other time of the year.’

Let’s be real. If you can't and don't let those special people in your life know that you love and/or give a rats furry hind-parts about them the rest of the year, then your one day of homage rings hollow.It's also needlessly afflictive to those who have lost loved ones or did not have a mother or father growing up.

I was blessed to have both parents in the house until I was 13 when they divorced (thank GOD!). My relationship with my parents was not always the best. Strained is the best way to put it. But no matter how I felt about them, I honored them. All day, every day.

Later in life, my relationship with my Dad was way better than it was when I was a kid. I talked to him every Wednesday. Loved hanging out with him down at the garage. I’m basically a Daddy’s Girl and not ashamed to say it. When he passed away, it broke. I still miss him terribly, but I have no regrets. I honored him all year long and he knew it. HE didn’t expect cards and what not, but I gave him stuff because I knew he liked jazz, loved Jesus, and loved a good meal.

My mother and I… weeellll? It’s still tenuous at best. Yet and still, I’m here, doing the job of a filial daughter. It’s all part of the whole “honor” thing. When I moved out, I only moved a block away, just in case. I used more PTO taking her to doctor’s appointments and sitting in hospitals than I did for actual rest and relaxation. To this day I still call every Wednesday, try to stop through on Thursday, and take her to her church every Sunday. That is the honor. And when her time to leave this world comes, I will have no regrets.

I said all of that to say this. I do it all year long, every single day. Is it easy? Heck no. Is it the right thing to do? Yes. I answer to God. Not Hallmark. Not society. The commercialization of Mother’s Day was not even what Anna Jarvis intended. Don’t even get me started on Father’s Day, which gets hi-jacked by single mothers these days. (Side note: You are not mother and father to your kid. Just stop it. Unless you have a penis, you are not a father.) Let’s just stop all of this foolishness and do right by our parents every day.

Parents, stop with the guilt trips over that one day on the calendar. If your kid doesn’t call you often or show you that they love you, how about you work on that? Your child did not ask to be born. You did the horizontal mambo and produced a person. Or if you adopted a child, and thank God for people like you, that person is your trophy and every gift you deserve for a lifetime. Your relationship with your child is your gift.

Look, I realize that my viewpoint is not a popular one and I will probably get all kinds of flack about it. Fine by me. This is my truth and I am sticking to it. You do you. I’ll try not to give you the side-eye. Try.

*As for Valentine’s Day, I’ll address that next February. Ugh!

You’ve Got A Choice

I am 100% down to the bone marrow pure I cry I thee sold out for the cause of Christ.

The God I serve, the Jesus who died and rose on the 3^rd day, the Holy Spirit who guides me, the Holy Trinity is not about that foolishness. The God I serve is a God of peace, love, giving, and forgiveness. That is why I am sold out for Him. He gave it all for me so how can I not? Yet for some odd reason, that statement bothers people. 

With the emergence of the whole “conservative Christian right” or as they like to call themselves “evangelical Christians”, I can somewhat understand. Much of what they stand for can hardly be called Christian, and sure as Hades is hot there is nothing right about it. Hate, racism, greed…nothing that my Savior stands for or died for. When they use Christianity to push their agenda it burns my biscuits. Argh! That is not the same Christ I represent. Not in the least.

If you ever read the comment sections of any posts written by any pastor or church leader, legit or not, you will come across some of the most hateful, insulting, and ignorant messages. People calling believers idiots and naïve. How dare those simple-minded Christ loving folks live their lives believing in a God they can’t see? How dare those Jesus followers hurt their feelings by exhibiting faith in Someone they can’t touch? How dare believers want to pray for someone else and exhibit compassion and forgiveness? It’s like people of faith are a personal affront to their sensibilities. But why? Why are non-believers so offended?

No, I don’t want to party like I used to, I don’t need to do that to be happy. No I don’t want to smoke or drink or shoot up or whatever. That just doesn’t do it for me. Sleeping around and bed-hopping only leaves pieces of my soul all over the place and makes me less whole. No thank you. None of those things are good for me anyway, whether I believed in Jesus or not. My wanting to live a holy life is my business. Why does my faith hurt your feelings? I seriously don’t get it. 

I Corinthians 15:19 (NLT) – “And if our hope in Christ is only for this life, we are more to be pitied than anyone in the world.”

Be that as it may, I still follow Christ. That is my choice. No one is holding a gun to my head telling me Who to believe in and how to pray. No one is making me attend my church and love it. No one is forcing me to bring my tithe and offering. I freely choose to do these things. Why? Because I know what Jesus did for me. I know He is real. I met Him for myself. To be perfectly honest, I know without a doubt that I would be dead or in jail today if it had not been for the mercy and grace of God.

My life is my ministry. I am not one to push an agenda on anyone. Either you choose to believe or you don’t. Would it bring me joy if you decided to make Jesus your choice? Yes, but I’m not going to twist your arm. It has to be your choice, just like it was mine.

I would rather follow Jesus and get to the end of this life and be right than to not follow Him and be wrong. The ramifications are eternal. I don’t like temps over 80 degrees so an eternity in hell is not exactly the location I’m shooting for.  

Hey, you’ve got a choice. It’s all on you. “But if you refuse to serve the LORD, then choose today who you will serve. Would you prefer the gods your ancestors served beyond the Euphrates (the gods of your past)? Or will it be the gods of the Amorites in whose land you now live (greed, hate, lying, death and destruction)? But as for me and my family, we will serve the LORD.” Joshua 24:15 NLT (italics mine)

Hey buddy, stay in your lane!!!

Have you ever just watched people drive?

Driving to work today I took a minute to watch other drivers.  There were people talking on the phone, texting, turning around to yell at their kids, lifting cigarettes, reading books, putting on make-up, etc. Meanwhile they are driving 90 miles an hour and changing lanes without bothering to look No one has any consideration for others. Such a self centered and self serving world this has become.

People are doing everything BUT paying attention to where they were going. It was downright maddening and extremely frightening at the same time. Automakers are making it worse by giving people bells and whistles that they wouldn’t need if they would JUST DRIVE!!! Why are you surfing the internet behind the wheel? Is that email that *bleeping* important? How about you get up earlier so you won’t have to put on your mascara while you are on the turnpike?

Because of someone elses lack of thought I could end up in an accident? How ridiculous is that?  But what is the alternative, SEPTA? Oh yeah, that's much safer.  These same people are putting bus passengers at risk. All the while I could get stabbed or shot by some lunatic on the bus or train because there was no where to run.

So, I've decided to become a hermit.
I will fix up my house in the woods in VA, grow my own food, order the other necessities from Amazon, find a work from home gig and NEVER LEAVE MY HOUSE!
I can't.  It’s not safe. There are waaaaaaayyyyyy too many psychos these days.   

What about your friends?

friend [frend]

- noun

1. a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard
2. a person who gives assistance; patron; supporter
3. a person who is on good terms with another; a person who is not hostile
4. a member of he same nation, party, etc.
5. a member of the Religious Society of Friends; a Quaker
6. a person associated with another as a contact on a social-networking website

Why did I start this entry with the Dictionary.com definition of friend? Because I needed you to see what has happened to the word, the concept, the essential meaning of being a friend. Notice how the term goes from being one of attachment, affection, and personal regard to just being associated by social-network. 

Let's just clear up this misnomer right off the bat. Just because Facebook chose the term friend as a connection point for those who are in your network, that does not by any means make those 100+ people your friends. You are lucky (no wait, let me change that) blessed if you have more than 5 real friends in your lifetime. So to think that those hundreds of people that you are sharing your pictures, opinions, thoughts, and life with actually give a rats ass about you... come on now. Really? Really?!?!  Most of them are only following you because they want to up their "friend" count. Because we all know that having so many friends on Facebook makes you more significant, right? Umm, no. It actually doesn't. Sorry to break that bit of news to you. 

Some are only your friend to make themselves feel better. If they see you struggling and not having the easiest of times, it makes their not so great situation seem not so bad. (Whew, I may be a hot mess, but look at so-and-so. Glad I'm not them.) How very friendly that is. Can you feel the love. Yeah, me neither. *shrug* [FB note: Take the time to put your friends in categories/lists. Also, separate the weeds from the wheat, Friends vs. acquaintances. Post your pics and status updates accordingly.]

Then there are the stalkers. They consist of the following: 

• exes 
• side-jawns 
• fellow church members 
• co-workers 
• family members who want something to use against you at the next family gathering

These are the most insidious friends of all. Why? Because these are people you wouldn't think would be so untrustworthy (other than the exes of course)  but they are the biggest threat. [FB note: Don't be stupid. When you break up with someone, delete them from your friends list and block them immediately!] These people will take the smallest thing and turn it into the biggest ball of mess. Case in point, they tag you in a picture or a post at a gathering where other people you know weren't invited to come along or attend. Enter the drama, stage left. First off, not every event and everything is for everybody. If they weren't invited there must have been a reason. That being said, stay above the fray. Real friends will understand that. Real friends really don't get hurt feelings over stupid crap like that. Real friends also don't find the need to rub it in someone's face that they were invited. That's petty and stupid.  [FB Note: Do not let other people tag you in photos and posts without your permission. Why invite trouble]

Now I will admit, I am not the best friend, be it in real life or on social media. 

In real life, some time ago, I can't exactly pinpoint when it happened, I phased out quite a few people from my life. There were just too many hangers-on. The relationships were dying anyway so I just pulled the plug and backed away. Don't get me wrong, if one of those people really needed me I would be there in a flash and I continue to pray for them nonetheless. The attachment was gone, not exactly the feelings or personal regard. However, like all things in life, the relationships had reached their expiration date. No big falling out or anything it just fizzled. 

My FB friend count is at 132. That to me is way too many, but of that 132, I can only see the post of about 10 people on my timeline. I just don't have the time or the energy to weed through all of the foolishness. Everyone has been placed on a list and I check those lists every couple of days. My page and posts are locked down. My coworkers, church members, and most of my family can not see what I post unless I post to all. Why? Because people are just too dramatic. Assuming everything is about them. Ugh! Please get over yourself. 

I guess as I've gotten older I've come to realize that at the end of my journey on this planet I want to be remembered as having touched someone's life. Those who remember me fondly, those people were my friends. 

(originally written in 2014)

You're So Fancy

I’ve been studying church culture and habits for years. Being raised in the church but having a brain wired for critical thinking, that’s just what I do. Things that congregations do, not because they are biblical, but because either ‘everyone else is doing it’ (the new fad) or ‘it’s what we’ve always done’ have always both fascinated and irked me. My current study has been on dressing up for church. 
Why do people insist that God is impressed with men wearing a suit and tie and women wearing a dress, skirt, and heels? Do people even know why they dress up? My guess is no, it’s just what they’ve always known. Well let me educate you.
Dressing up started in the Anglican Church as a way to separate the rich from the poor. Only the rich could afford fancy clothes, therefore only the rich were worthy to attend church. The poor could not read which means they could not study the bible for themselves. The only way they could get access is if someone taught them outside of the church walls. Thankfully there were some good, honest preachers and ministers that actually cared about spreading the Gospel to the common man.
Fast forward to the 1600 and 1700’s. It’s the New World – YAY!!! Let’s leave England and go to this new country where we killed off some folks and took their land. Oh and let’s make a pit stop down by Western African to pick to up some slaves with us for the ride. We got persecuted back home so we’ll start our own churches. We’re the rich ones now so we have to dress up for church. And them slave folk can’t read so we’ll teach them what we want them to know, but not everything. They sure enough can’t dress up for church so they won’t ever hear the real truth. Thankfully there were some good, honest preachers and ministers that actually cared about spreading the true Gospel to EVERY MAN and teaching them slave folks to read.
Fast forward 245+ years to the end of slavery. Negroes now have churches of their own, can read and hear the Word for themselves. Just one thing. Let’s keep separating ourselves and dressing up for church. That way the better off Negroes will get better seats and better treatment. Your fancy dress and hat, your spiffy suit and tie mean that you are closer to Jesus. He’s impressed with your clothes you know.
Reverence for God. That is another spin that is being put on this lately. We have become a people who take God too casually. I can see that, in a sense. But that is an American thing, not a what you are wearing thing. The casual heart and casual mentality is on the inside. Are you telling me that someone who is homeless or can’t afford fancy clothes but loves the LORD with all their heart is taking God casually? I have actually seen the opposite to be true. It is the affluent and privileged that more often have a lackadaisical view of their relationship with the LORD.
Hold up. Let me back up a bit. Who am I even to say what someone else’s relationship is like? That’s not my place. My job is to preach the word, live a genuine life before others, and love the LORD my God with all of my heart, all of my soul, and all of my strength. Oh and to love my neighbor as myself (the really hard part).
Do I love my neighbor if I am judging him harshly because of his outfit? Be it a three piece suit, or boots, jeans, and a hoodie, I am to love my neighbor. Short skirt and tight shirt or turtleneck and maxi-dress, I am to love my neighbor.

Stop alienating the very people you are supposed to be trying to reach by putting stipulations on their attendance. God’s not impressed. You can be just much of a hellion with a dress or suit on than you can with jeans and boots.

Clothes don’t make the believer. How do I know? God’s word backs me up –

“⁷ But the Lord said to Samuel, “Don’t judge by his appearance or height, for I have rejected him. The Lord doesn’t see things the way you see them. People judge by outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” 1 Samuel 16:7 NLT
“³ Don’t be concerned about the outward beauty of fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes. ⁴ You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God.” 1 Peter 3:3-4 NLT

So, tell me again why I have to get fancy for church?
Bottom line, clothes don’t make you Christ-like. Following His example does.

Purpose, Passion, and Place

“Who am I? Why am I here?” – James Stockdale, b. 1923 – d. 2005

We ask ourselves that very same question at some point in our lives. James Stockdale (God rest his soul) just said it out loud in front of millions on national TV during a 1992 VP debate. While he was ridiculed mercilessly by late night talk show hosts, and pretty much everyone else, his unintentional honesty was actually a little refreshing. Glad he never became the VP though. I mean can you image if Ross Perot, a millionaire with no political experience whatsoever had become President? The very thought is ridiculous. Oh, wait…nevermind. That’s a whole other rant for another day.

Back to the subject at hand – purpose, passion, and place. Three simple words that can bring great happiness or great pain. If you believe that you are functioning in your purpose, living your passion, and have found your place in the world then CONGRATULATIONS! This may not be for you. But tuck it away for later. Trust me, you may need it. On the flip side, if you are experiencing that stage in your life where you have no idea what your purpose is, you’ve lost your passion, and feel out of place, this may be for you.

Our society has placed so much pressure on us to live on purpose, have a purpose driven life, and follow our passion. Where did all of that come from? Seriously. When did that become such a “thing”? Don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying that we shouldn’t be happy and have goals at the same time. But why put so much pressure on ourselves to fit the world’s mold of purpose, passion, and place? Who is to say what those three things truly mean? Let’s be real. There is the dictionary definition and there is the biblical view. In either case, it’s all about timing and perception. Take a look at Ecclesiastes 3. I’ll wait.

"1 To everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven."

Well, that pretty much sums it up. But let’s go a little further.

"9 What profit has the worker from that in which he labors? 10 I have seen the God-given task with which the sons of men are to be occupied. 11 He has made everything beautiful in its time. Also, He has put eternity in their hearts, except that no one can find out the work that God does from beginning to end. 12 I know that nothing is better for them than to rejoice, and to do good in their lives, 13 and also that every man should eat and drink and enjoy the good of all his labor - it is the gift of God"

Whether you believe in God or not, your purpose on this earth is to DO GOOD. What is the “it” that plucks your spirit or gets to you when you see that something “needs to be done about it”? That’s your passion, your thing, your why.

When you are functioning in your PURPOSE (the what) and following your PASSION (the why), then you will find that you have arrived in your PLACE (the where}. It all can and will happen in God’s timing (the when). Just trade your will for His (the Who).

You can do this. Stop comparing your life and progress to someone else’s. You don’t know what they are called to do. They may even be out of place themselves and putting on a brave face. Their ministry and purpose are not your business. Be about your Father’s business.